FAQ

Q. Are the open letters on offer at openletters.ca the only ones ever written?

A. In fact no. Since the dawn of time, aggrieved exhibitionists have written open letters to their enemies and oppressors and invited the disinterested (and uninterested) to listen in. For example, in 1976 a young Bill Gates wrote this letter to his foes on the briny seas of software piracy. And thank goodness he did. Otherwise, he might never have become the billionairest billionaire of all. Moreover, absent that open letter the brazen illegal sharing of valuable intellectual property might have continued even into our own time. It is clear that the open letter is a mighty form.

Q. It's one thing to write a letter for a cause. But has anyone ever written gratuitous open letters like yours?

A. Gratuitous is not the word I would use, dear interlocutor, but yes. There are others who, like me, even in the absence of urgent grievances have felt the desire to fire messages through the world's gaping mail slot. At www.openletters.net you will find some highly enjoyable open letters by some highly enjoyable writers, none of whom seem to be engaged in heated battle with pirates.

Q. There is something especially frivolous, though, about writing letters that aren't even addressed to people. Has anyone other than you ever engaged in such activity?

A. Funny thing. The clever souls at McSweeney's began soliciting such letters in 2003. Hilarity has ensued. It is a testament to my generous spirit that I am able to wish them well.

Q. It sounds like you ripped this idea off.

A. Ow.

Q. Defend yourself.

A. There is no call for me to defend myself. Must the duck carver defend himself against the ire of other duck carvers? Does the duck carver resent others for sharing his or her longing to shape a piece of basswood into the likeness of a duck? No. The carvers work together, sharing tools and tips, and sometimes going in together on bulk orders of glass eyes and steel legs. And anyway, everyone knows that influence is unfathomably complex.

Q. So you stole it.

A. I am finding you very confrontational. If you insist: I wrote a few open letters in 2000 and 2001, all to people. I suppose the idea of branching out into non-people came to me via Kenneth Koch's New Addresses, which includes such delights as "To My Twenties" and "To Jewishness." I didn't learn of these other real live open letters until after I started on the site. Ok?

Q. Oh. Well I didn't mean to sound accusatory.

A. It's ok. I see where you were coming from. But I never talk to you like that.

Q. You're right. I apologize.

A. Don't worry about it.

Q. Seriously. Sorry. You still sound mad.

A. It's all right. Forget it.

Q. It's ok?

A. Yeah.